6.15.18 – 04.50

i watch a lot of porn
i enjoy it
i like watching women
being coerced
restrained
violated
i like knowing
that it isn’t real
that it can’t be real
because pain is just an extreme form of pleasure
corporeal
our bodies my body
means nothing

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6.15.18 – 04.20

the man the boy
who took my virginity
was 20
i was 16

i trusted him

i wanted him
to want me
but i lost a piece of myself
when i lost It
and i cried

and i lost it
and i cried
again
and again

and my boyfriend at the time

he was 20
i was 13
when we first started talking
online

he told me i cheated on him
but that he forgave me
but i didn’t want
him his forgiveness

6.05.18 – 15.16

every fiber of my being
is attached to every fiber of yours
and pulls me towards you with
a dull, pressing, numbing ache
but your body sears my soul
with all the promises you can’t make
so that charred bits and broken pieces
are all that remain